Talk Show... Part Three

Welcome back to this weeks episode of… Talk About Something Exciting, or LEAVE!!! Yes, thank you, thank you very much. Man we have a great crowd today, can I get a camera on these people? Yes, there we go… FIVE, people in the audience today. That’s a record, isn't it? Yeah, I think it’s a record. So, anyway, our guest speaker today is Billy B. Bob, let’s give him a hand folks!!!!

Oh garsh, ah am Exhilarated to be on this here show. Yup, ah watch it near bout’ every day after ah’m done feeding tha hogs out in thar pen.

Interesting, Very interesting, so let’s hope what you will be talking about today is just as exciting, or else you will have to LEAVE!!!

Well garsh, ah sure don’t wanna leave, so ah better git to ma talking. Today, ah will be giving all you folks animal impersonations. Tha first one is ah sheep. BAAAA. There we go, and tha next one will be ah little ole’ Billy goat. BHAAA. Now then, ah will move on ta the next one which is ah-

DING DONG!!!

Oh dear Billy, it appears that the ding dong complainer just rang.

Weall now what does that mean?

One of out spectacular audiences has a complaint to make about your talking. Ahem…yes…..oh yes, I see. She wants to know what is the difference between a sheep sound, and a goat sound? They both sounded the same to her.

Ya see, the sheep sound is ah B-A-A-A-A, and the goat is a B-H-A-A-A-. There is a slight difference in the sound. Sure is hard to tell, but when ya live on’a farm, as do I, it is nigh well obvious.

DING DONG!!!

Wha now?

The audience is not satisfied with your explanation, which means you get to play the comparing game.

Ah, ah do?

Yes indeed. See that dunk tank over there?

Yes, ah do.

Well you will be seated in the dunk tank, and will do your animal impersonations into the microphone inside. If the automatic decider decides they are truly different, then you will win ten dollars. If they are the same, then you will be dunked, and have to leave. But you will not fall into water. You will fall into a delicious steak sauce. Are you ready?

Weall now just wait one cotton picken minute. You expect me to- WHO, hey I can walk just fine, now OUCH! OOF!!

Start impersonating!!!

Well, uh… BAAAA. BHAAA………AUGHHHHH!!!!!

SPLASH.

Oh, I am sorry, the automatic decider did not think they were different, so you have to leave. Tune in next week, to see another person talk, OR LEAVE!!! That’s all folks!!!

Talk Show... Part Two

Welcome back to Talk About Something Exciting, or Leave! I am your host, Allan P. Sherman, and today we have a very exciting plan. We will have Miss Ally VonShuben as our guest talker!! Lets give her a hand!!!

Oh thank you! I am absolutely thrilled to be talking today. I love to talk. Talking is my passion in life and when I heard about this show, I-

Yes, yes, that is very nice. So, you may begin TALKING!!!!

Oh, very well. But it is very rude to interrupt me when I was talking. After all, this is a talk show, and I am the guest talker, so when I am talking- oh, yes… I am supposed to be talking about my subject I prepared? Oh very well. Today I will be talking about how to get rid of stains. The first stain I will be discussing is wine. And we all know how hard it is to get out wine stains. The way you do it, is by letting the stain sit undisturbed for 24 hours, then lightly scatter rose petals over the stain. Afterward, sprinkle with salt, let sit for 15 seconds, and PRESTO! No more stain. I remember one time, when I had an AWFUL wine stain, and I tried everything! Except for the rose petal and salt trick. My mother told me about it, but I had to go to a party, and they had the BEST cocktails, so I ate some, then started to dance, when-

BEEP!!! BEEP!

I am sorry, but you started to get off topic, which means you get to play, THE STAY ON TOPIC GAME!!!

Oh dear, what is that? It sounds dreadful. I don’t like dreadful things, why just last week I-

The off topic game is not dreadful. You must simply walk across the topic bridge while talking. If you stay on topic, you win ten dollars. If you don’t stay on topic, then you fall through a trap door, and land in a pile of uncooked spaghetti, and leave. Annnnnnd START!!

Well, um.. the second stain is the ink stain, and when you… OH MY!!! I just had a horrible thought! I forgot to brush my teeth this morning! They must look- AUGGGGG!!!!

CRUNCH!!

OH, im sorry, you didn't stay on topic. Sooooo… YOU MUST LEAVE!!! Tune in next week folks to see another person talk, or leave!!!

Talk Show... Part One.

This is a random little thing I wrote for my journal writing last year. Expect more to follow!

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome back to… Talk About Something Exciting, or Leave!! Thank you, thank you very much. On today’s episode, our speaker is Mr. Joe Shmoe.!! Let’s give him a hand folks!!!

Thank you!! Thank you all very much. You know, I am HONORED that I would be accepted on this very wonderful-

Yeah yeah, we all know that junk, now get talking, or LEAVE!!!

Ok, weeeelll, the topic I will be talking about today, is the benefits of random thoughts.

Sounds, exciting, let’s hear it for Joe Shmoe!!! Nice name by the way.

Oh um, thank you. Now, when you hear something totally random, there are several different possible reactions. For example, the other day, my cousin and I were talking about how many pounds of edible fungus can be grown in Arkansas in one year, when she suddenly asks me if I like spaghetti! I stopped, stunned for a second, and then asked what made her think of spaghetti, when we were talking about fungus? So as you can see, one of the more common reactions to randomness is the stun movement. The second one is-

BING!!!!!!!

What- what was that?

EERRRR!!! I am sorry Joe Shmoe, but it appears that one member of the audience did not think that you are talking about something exciting. And we all know what happens next.

What?

YOU GET TO PLAY THE EXCITING TALKER GAME!!!!

What’s that?

You see that small swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding?

Yes…

Well, you must step on that platform, and continue talking into that microphone for one minute. If the automatic exciter decides you are exciting enough, you win ten dollars. But if you are not, you fall in the pudding, and LEAVE!!!

But, I don’t want to- Hey stop pushing! Ouch… ok, here we go. The second common reaction for randomness is the burst-out laughing-technique, and when this is applied the person who started the randomness usually,-

BEEP!!! BEEP!!!

Hey, why is that red light flashing, what’s going on? HELP!!!!
SPLOOSH.

Oops, looks like you weren't exiting, so you have to LEAVE!! Tune in next week to see another person talk, or leave!! THAT ALL FOLKS!

Rat Pictures

Ok, here are the pictures of Lucy, the rat. Enjoy!

MY RAT!!!!!

Well folks, day before yesterday was the big day! I received my own rat. I had just walked outside to take out the trash, when I happened to glance in the direction of the driveway, and imagine my joy when I discovered a strange car was parked there. I was even more overjoyed when, upon further examination, there next to the car was a girl with a large wire cage in her hands. After I had thrown out the trash, and pieced together the clues, I deducted that this, was in fact, Katie Donovan and she had come to give me her rat! (Of course I knew all this immediately! Mrs. Donovan came out and we went over a few guidelines, and instructions for care. After they left, I made haste to bring the cage and it’s occupant up to my room, where I had prepared a place for him to stay. Except of course, Michelle and I found out that Ratatouille, was a she. I decided to name her first Rheumy, then Lint, and finally Lucy. She is absolutely adorably! Even though she is not as cute as hamsters, you can do a lot more with her. She found and old cloth dog house, and kept crawling into it. This led me to the decision to put the dog house into her cage for the night. Next morning my mom discovered she had torn through it and removed the foam padding inside! So much for the cloth dog house. We took her cage downstairs, and let the other pets get a look at her. Beamer and Squiggy were fascinated, so much that Beamer didn’t even go into the kitchen to finish his breakfast. Unthinkable! Jinx didn’t really think much of her, and ran off instead to fight with Squiggy. Oh, our funny pets. I think we are going to really enjoy my little rat. She even has a tiny harness and leash! But the best part is, she doesn’t really mind being held, so long as you support her and are gentle. I am thrilled at the thought of finally owning my own rodent, something I have wanted long before I became serious about my campaign. Once again, to all you rat haters out there, even my mom likes Lucy. That is saying A LOT. So you all need to come over and see how cute and sweet and funny Lucy is. That’s all for now!!! Tootles!

I will be putting up some pictures shortly. At the moment, it is not convenient to do so.

A Pet, at Last!

Howdy ya’ll..........enough of the hick accent, lets move on. Most of you know that for the last 9 months or so, I have wanted a hamster. Originally, if I could keep my room clean, and display overall responsibility, I could get one. Everything went great….except for the clean room. And now, nine months later, my dream is finally coming true……………. Except I’m not getting a hamster. I am, in fact, getting a rat. A RAT!?!?!? Now, now, now…. Don’t get all upset or anything like that. I know most people turn their noses up at rats, but please don’t for this one. A family in our church was looking for someone to take their pet, Ratatouille. He comes with a cage, food, toys and more, and it won’t cost me a cent. Plus, according to Michelle, he is EXTREMELY cute, and loves to be held, something hamsters don’t appreciate so much. So, I am willing for the reasons above to get some experience in the care and keeping of rats, and then, after his life is at an end, I can decide if I am up for getting a new rodent companion, or am not quite ready to have a pet in my room. If you still wonder why on earth I am going to get a rat, then obviously you are not a rodent lover, and can’t be reasoned with under any circumstances. I pity you. Tootles!

Our Friends...

Hello friends! This is Catie, your host for as long as you wish to remain at my blog sight, and I hope you have a great time!

In my last post, I promised to write about two of our very good friends from Hollister. This Hollister happens to be a town near Gilroy, (home of garlic, I might add!) And is in no way, shape or form a popular clothing store. Emily and Kelly are two of me and Michelle’s best friends, and we have known them since before I can remember. (Kinda odd to not remember meeting you lifelong friend…) About four years ago, their dad found a job in, or maybe it was near Hollister and they had to move. I was heartbroken of course, but then, it really wouldn’t make sense for their dad to make a three hour drive twice a day to go to work, and then come back, so there was really no escaping their moving. Many a day did Michelle and I go to their house, whether to play house or dress up or to walk up to pollywog pond and catch…you guessed it, pollywogs. (We named the pond, and I haven’t the slightest idea what its real name is, if it even has a name!) (And none of our pollywogs ever lived by the way) Some of you may remember the Whitelys. (Did I mention their last name was the Whitelys?) So anyway, they moved, and in the first year of their absence, we went up and visited them quite a lot, about once a month I recollect. (Oh, and before I forget, Johnny came on one or two of our hikes when the Whitelys lived here =D) Good times I tell you, GOOOOD times. The Whitelys have always been animal lovers, before they moved they owned two dogs, two cats and a bunny. As of to date, they own one dog, two cats, one bunny, two miniature horses and a dozen chickens. Quite a farm, don’t you think? Sadly, one of their dogs passed away, she was only a few months younger than me!!! They are soon to get a new one however. The new house has… I don’t quite remember, but I think it has a few acres, giving them plenty of room to care for and abundance of animals. Kelly, the younger of the two friends used to want a pot-bellied pig, but I think she is past that, and has now devoted her love to chickens. Emily, the older is fonder of the mini horses… I think. Michelle and I always get quite the farm experience each times we go see them. Just this last visit we… Mucked out the stalls, collected eggs, rode and groomed horses, feed the chickens and more! So, despite the distances, us and the Whitelys have managed to stay close. But before I go, I forgot to mention we even got baptized the same night. Pretty cool huh?

This has been, yours truly, Drama Queen.